Just a simple guy who gives sensible advice. AMA on LGBT issues whether it's dating, coming out, etc.

Kenneth Vi
Oct 26, 2017

Hey there!!! In my years of existence I had my fair share of trials and tribulations, mostly when it comes to identity. If you have any questions that have something to do with sexual identity, maybe I can offer an advice or two, or just listen and understand. I know it can be tough out there so if I can make somebody's life a bit better, that'll make my day.

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Have you ever had a crush on the opposite gender?

Oct 25, 6:04PM EDT0

Yes definitely. I still do. 

Oct 25, 10:38PM EDT0

What does the pink triangle mean?

Oct 25, 3:34PM EDT0

I didnt know that, but I did look up. It's what Nazis used to identify homosexual prisoners in concentration camps. :( 

Oct 25, 10:38PM EDT0

Why do you think people are homophobic?

Oct 25, 12:46PM EDT0

Well people dont like what they dont understand. It even scares them. It's basic animal instinct, but humans are supposed to be smarter than animals so you'd expect them to at least try to understand things first. :) 

Oct 25, 10:37PM EDT0

At what age did you "come out"? What did you learn from that experience?

Oct 25, 12:24PM EDT0

I came out at around 24, and it made me realize that being free and happy is so much more important than what people will say about you.

Oct 25, 10:31PM EDT0

What is something you always wanted to do but haven't got a chance to do it?

Oct 25, 11:42AM EDT0

I wanna do bungee jumping. :) 

Oct 25, 10:31PM EDT0

How do you feel about xgay ministries?

Oct 25, 11:33AM EDT0

I totally disagree with it because not only you can "pray the gay away", it also damages the person psychologically, affecting his ability to be intimate and confident. Studies support that.

Oct 25, 10:36PM EDT0

Why do kids always use the word “gay” to put someone down?

Oct 25, 7:59AM EDT0

People associate being gay with being delicate or weak or needing to be protected. This is wrong because just because someone is gay, it doesnt mean he is weak. And honestly, this is also harmful for straight men and women. Calling someone gay indirectly says that women are weak and fragile, while imposing a closed-minded standard of masculinity on men. 

Oct 25, 10:34PM EDT0

How do you feel when people are insistent that this is a choice that people make?

Oct 25, 6:41AM EDT0

Do you think gay marriage affects straight people in any way ( how/how not)?

Oct 25, 6:19AM EDT0

What is a misconception about gay people that you think other people should know the truth about?

Oct 25, 4:45AM EDT0

For me it's the idea that just because you are attracted to your same sex group, it means that you want to change your gender. That's bs. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you want to be a woman, or just because you're a lesbian doesn't mean you want to be a man. I'm a gay guy, but I love being male. 

Oct 25, 6:04AM EDT0

Why do gay and lesbian people have rainbow flags or rainbow stickers? What does it mean?

Oct 25, 3:27AM EDT0

The rainbow represents diversity and inclusivity. Sort of like there aren't just two colors, there are more, and they should all belong together; no one's left out. 

Oct 25, 6:02AM EDT0

Have you ever been the victim of a hate crime?

Oct 25, 1:26AM EDT0

No, not really. Thanks God. But I have seen hate crimes in news and it also affects me. 

Oct 25, 6:00AM EDT0

Do you want to have a family someday?

Oct 24, 11:22PM EDT0

Yeah! Totally. Honhestly, I cant imagine having a kid right now because I wantto focus on my othergoals, but I definitely would love to have a husband.

Oct 25, 5:59AM EDT0

Did coming out effect your relationships (parents, siblings, friends) in a negative way?

Oct 24, 7:10PM EDT0

It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. I treated it as a test of fire.  There are still some awkward moments like when they comment about gay things and become conscious because I might get offended. Some straight guy friends acted aloof, as if I'm planning to hook up or hit on them. Some straight girl friends are more welcoming, but in a 'can you be my sassy gay shopping sidekick'. I think it's all because oft he stereotypes of being gay. You just have to learn to debunk the myths. By the end of the day I have no regrets; the postives outweigh the negatives. 

Oct 25, 5:58AM EDT0

Can you tell if someone is gay or lesbian just by how they look?

Oct 24, 7:04PM EDT0

Hi! It gives certain clues, but you can never be 100% sure. I know tons of gay and lesbian people that you would never ever ever suspect of being gay or lesbian. Especially today, that some gays are the buffest manliest men you'll meet and lesbians can be girly 'lipstick lezzies'. That's why we should never use strerotypes. :)

Oct 25, 5:50AM EDT0

How long were you in denial for?

Oct 24, 5:24PM EDT0

For 23 years of my life. Acceptance can be a long process and there are even times where I didnt think I was being in denial and was genuinely straight. 

Oct 25, 5:48AM EDT0

What if my religion says it is wrong to be gay?

Oct 24, 5:17PM EDT0

I think it's okay to follow your own religion, as long as you don't impose these beliefs on others. We should understand that other people have their own beliefs or their own religion, and maybe for them it is okay to be gay. By the end of the day, none of us can be 110% sure on what God or the Universe or Fate really wants, so let's just keep our beliefs for ourselves and let other people do what they believe in as long as they are not harming others. 

Oct 25, 5:47AM EDT0

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